by Ang Kia Yee

Today was the most exhausting day in a while. But many important things have been done, transferred.

The forecast said this would be a year of family and shedding and romance. I was skeptical but it has been surprisingly accurate, especially on the family front, which was previously lukewarm, more of the same, or isolating. There’s been a clear shift in energy here.

My introversion and feelings of repulsion toward people have also intensified. I am so tired. Being around people takes all my energy and patience. So many words and the body remains cold because touch feels contaminating or taboo or strange. To overcome that would take all my energy, but perhaps it’s the one thing worth expending everything for.

For now I am becoming a recluse, the most withdrawn I’ve been in a while. I miss the suburban space of Canley. The quietest space here would not give me the silence I need.