by Ang Kia Yee

I’ve been resisting leaning too much into astrology, but I’m feeling it this week, as we had the full moon in Pisces and are now passing (?) the autumnal equinox into Libra season. After a dreamy weekend in a stupor, I’m experiencing what feels like the culmination of my 1st house profection year, the Scorpio rising filling up space in the light, seeking visibility. (Is my 12th house Sun asleep? How is it faring as I walk toward the centre of the room?)

I’m also feeling an early preview of my 2nd house profection year to come once my Solar return hits in a few weeks. Just this week, my credit card got declined for the first time ever because I maxed it out for a company expense (which I’ve claimed but haven’t been reimbursed for). I had to make my first ever massive payment for insurance, which triggered a series of events where I had to dig for the pin of a debit card I’ve never used, in order to retrieve a forgotten password, in order to transfer money around so I had enough to make payment. Interestingly, I also smoothly ordered some new huggie earrings to replace and top up on the ones I’ve just messed up while bleaching my hair. These earrings I consider very expensive, because I rarely pay for things at these sort of prices. I’ve been spending a lot this week.

Separately but maybe tangentially, I’ve been thinking about my hermetic/ ascetic desires, and how some part of me seems to be laying them to rest, and plunging into what I consider layman/ wordly life by way of material goods. I still ache for that desire. I remember when the truth of staying here instead of turning away sunk in and I cried. I cried knowing that I have to give something up to grow differently here in this life, something I have gravitated toward and devoted myself to before. How can I be a worldly person amongst other persons? For now this pains me, but I guess it is something I must come to learn and discover..