by Ang Kia Yee

Many beginnings and new habits in the last month. I feel my viney body thickening and thinning, turning greener by day, quiet and fecund, each vine spiralling, wrapping, tightening around the mass. I glimpse the iteration a year ahead of me, I lean with the faintest human resistance now.

For one, I’m finally transitioning toward a vegetarian diet. Life is aligning to make this smoother than before, and the shift has called for me in a clear voice. I turn, body still loose and open, not impatient to cross at all. It will take time and I am happy to walk the duration.

Also, after seven years of not taking consistent dance classes, I’m putting myself back into a weekly circuit. Ballet gave me a lot, but not much by way of looseness, ease and more adaptive techniques. It was difficult to admit after quitting that my years of training amounted to quite little once I switched styles. I had worked hard to be a ballet dancer. Now, I no longer need to pretend to myself that I already have the sort of coordination, control and range I wish to have. I can just work toward it.

I had a blast today even though I bombed a large portion of the choreography, which is to be expected. There was good and kind energy in the room, and quite frankly I enjoyed the struggle. I’ll be back to flail more! Also, I wanted an arbitrary goal to reach before I get critical about anything I’m doing, so I’m going with 100. 100 classes before I evaluate what to hone in on next. Now is the time for quantity and stretching, stretching my bubble!

These larger waves roll out amongst many micro-shifts, small decisions and changes in perspective that accumulate thickly over the weeks. In the end, though I feel much vaster and wilder than this body, I know I still am here, and I feel more and more happy to be here. I have made friends.